Life's been sort of a boring roller coaster; full of its ups and downs but seems really slow, except during the holiday when it passed like a flash. That aside I'm feeling out of sorts, probably because I haven't been going out much and I think it's killing me a little. No seriously, I've never thought of myself as a hedonist - whatever - but turns out stoicism has pretty much escaped me and now I'm finding myself feeling really bored and dull and jaded.
Trying to some stock good reads - I just finished One Day by David Nicholls (which left me groaning, too - I can relate to the feelings but to be honest I am hoping for more emotional investment) and Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother by Amy Chua (it's quite funny and somehow enlightening and kinda warm, in a sense. And I finished it on Julian's kindle - kind of shows how much free time I spent with him, eh?) and now I'm picking up The Interpretation of Murder (which made me wonder, why did it sound so familiar? Apparently the writer is Amy Chua's husband and I'm positive she mentioned this in her book. Nice one, my memory).
Been head over heels over Dr.Who and Karen Gillan - geez she's extremely pretty! And I'm thinking I probably have a thing for black and white pictures. Hmmmm.
Two days ago I finally had a cry, yes a good cry, which almost drove me insane with misery. I was one step away from doing something which I really should not, and luckily I didn't, thanks to an extensive effort of distracting myself. It was so sad, the memories that came pouring into my mind, into the highlight, all the what could-have-beens that could NOT have, and me knowing that is probably the saddest thing of all. I asked basta for an emo song (yes, when I mourn, I go all out) and one of them made me cried again.
But it's alright now. Well I hope it is. Either way I have to pick myself up and sort out my act, it's getting more costly to be in a mess right now. I mean seriously. We all have our hard time, and it's just one of them, I suppose.
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